Body Language - a beginning

There a two ways to read body language: yours and another’s.

Pretty simple when you think about it.

Don’t think too hard on it.

The language of the body includes an assessment of one’s health. This is as natural as the wind blowing. It’s tempting to say that women are more in tune with their bodies than men are. But I do not subscribe to this belief. It is at this level of human communication where the sexes are the same. However. I would agree that women are more inclined to have experiences which draw attention to their biology. Some things cannot be escaped.

I have witnessed many women who have little clue as to what their bodies are telling them. I have likewise witnessed a woman claim to know within a 12 hour period that the baby girl child she was hoping to conceive – had conceived. We know when we are healthy.

There is much to discover in the exploration of body language so I’ll try to keep this submission as simple as possible. The human body is designed to exist under certain conditions, but it is adaptable. When it is not healthy it seeks to save itself. I believe this is one reason why losing weight can be such a bummer. The body, on one hand, doesn’t lie: when out of balance, it becomes difficult to breath, walking can be a burden . . . the list goes on and on. What’s the body telling you? You’re over weight!

Since the body wants to take care of itself, it begins to take care of itself where it’s at. Not where it should be. But that doesn’t change the fact that the body is seeking to save itself – it just saves itself where it finds itself. It doesn’t know the past nor the future, just where it is right now. It protects itself from whatever poison it has been consuming. Smog, an imbalanced diet, alcohol, tobacco, etc.

Just to be clear: this is not an indictment on any one’s habit, lust, or love. These are simple truths and I want to present them as such. I know the Paradigm Scribe, for example, has been 80 pounds overweight at times, has smoked too many cigars for his own good, and occasionally drinks too much – his body told me.

A simple rule for understanding one’s own health: The body is not meant to be tied up in knots. Have a seat. Do the legs cross? Do the toes curl? How about the arms? Are they cross or covering the face? In short, how is the posture? The overall posture of one’s own body can give clues to health – both physical and mental.

Along these lines I believe it is possible to begin gaining health, if one is not  healthy, by practicing to sit. I think a chair is best at first. Feet on the floor, hands on the knees, and muscles relaxed. One would be surprised to discover a certain level of happiness can be gained by this simple exercise. Realizations of the body will make themselves known. If you listen.

A Saturday Short

It’s important to recognize this impulse to lie – for whatever the reason might be – not to have power over another individual and thus get the opportunity to point the bony finger at them.

Remember: when you point one finger towards another, there are three fingers pointing back at you and (usually) one pointing towards the heavens.

The benefit of this information is a reality check. It’s a base impulse that allows an individual to protect themselves – whether the need is real, imagined, or fabricated.

Just to be clear: this does not preclude the need for integrity, honesty, or any other element of the social contract – it simply allows for a proper perspective that can bring us closer to truth.

 

Why Lie?

Everyone lies. This is not a new phenomena and is not likely to go away – ever.

Paraphrasing here a bit: Within the first six minutes of a conversation – 80% of humanity will tell a lie. There are indications that lying is hardwired into the brain, the body – or something – and that we cannot avoid it when there is contact with others. This could very well be the natural expression of being defensive. Think chameleons who change color with the pine tree, or the sand ray on the bottom of the ocean floor, or the pigeon in the city that blends with the asphalt.

This is not to say their bodies are lying – they are not. Their bodies are being consciously used to lie – a big difference.

When the body lies (apparently) I believe it indicates a conscious decision to defend itself. The threat does not necessarily have to be life threatening, per se, but it does need to be present. Never mind that some people always feel threatened! (and thus are always on the defensive).

When the body lies (without our consciously willing it to do so) I believe it indicates a previous time where a conscious decision was made to behave a certain way. This is where ‘flinching’ comes in, where prejudice come in, and stereotyping. But not, necessarily in that order. If anything, it’s the reverse order:

human beings stereotype, then prejudice, then flinch.

Lying is a part of the human make up. Sometimes lies protect the self: I’m dangerous, leave me alone; I’m not dangerous, you can go away – and all manner of permutations (depending on the situation) from there. The goal of this particular reasoning of thought is to understand that lying is not (necessarily) an evil thing, but a part of what makes us who we are.

Lying is a reflective echo of our body’s ability (or inability) to process information – more on this in the future – and its need to make sense of the world around us. So – when you catch or suspect someone in a lie, don’t be surprised and don’t necessarily start pointing the finger (unless the lie is blatantly obvious). Understand that lies are a part of our universal make up as human beings – it cannot be avoided! but it can be managed. Both our understanding of it in others and why we, ourselves, are also liars.

Body Language – An Exploration

Continuing the discussion of the body being incapable of lying, there are a number of things to consider. One of the base assumptions should be that the body is incapable of being anything else than a body. It wants to take care of itself – to be a body. As such, it knows what it wants. This is one reason why reading body language can be a fine art.

I do not profess to own this art, only to know that it exists to such a high degree, corporations and individuals capable of exercising this art possess a great power. What is more amazing is that this art has become something of a mystery. But perhaps it hasn’t always been so. I’m willing to believe that reading body language is innate in all of us.

If someone who approaches us seems to be kind (lying) with their words there might be an uneasy feeling associated with the individual. The awkward situation can sometimes be revealed through their body language – a hundred (most likely much more) signals may indicate that this person is not nice, not kind. This can be conveyed through footing, knee direction, hip placement, body posturing, hand position, amongst the more direct. Someone who does not know these things consciously is still capable of registering these things subconsciously – why? Because both communicators belong to the same animal experiences.

Of course, there are other elements that come into play. But all things being equal, the person who is being lied to will – on some level – recognize that he/she is being lied to. Why? That’s up to debate. But one thing can be certain. They are being lied to.

 

 

The Body Doesn’t Lie–Interpretation

So much could be said about this phrase: The body doesn’t lie. Indeed, a whole blog could be written about this statement alone. But I’ve got to start somewhere, so I’ll try to bring it home.

I know someone (the Paradigm Scribe) who has taken on more than he can chew. How does one manage a full-time Master’s degree, putting out applications for work, submitting essays for publication, writing the unimaginable sum of two thousand words a day, keep the wolves at bay, and still keep a happy home? One could just as easily ask: How do you eat an elephant?

One Bite At A Time

Which brings us to the Scribe’s personal problem. He complains that he’s taken on too much, that the courses he’s on are causing stress. And now he feels that he’s on track for an emotional break down. Fine and good. Let him stew in his own juices for awhile while we examine his environmental situation.

The physical temperatures around his home have hovered near 100 degrees for over three weeks. In the last two months solid, he has taken a 2,300 mile trip complete with breakdowns, missed schedules, a grueling 18 days of work, both creative and physical, that have demanded no more than five hours of sleep a night, has been forced to learn new skills, has a loved one who was in surgery – and as if this weren’t bad enough, has forgotten to take his medication at least eight times during those two months. He has also neglected to walk and run as has been his habit for nearly four months.

Then he feels like he’s having a nervous breakdown and – and here’s the catch! – he blames it on his schedule or classes or heat or – just about everything else but what it truly is: he is physically taxing his body and not let it go.

Interpretation:

All this is well and good – and normal behavior – but, getting to the point, he runs the risk of interpreting his physical situation and translating it into an emotional one when it doesn’t really exist.

This is a tricky concept to convey, so I’ll reiterate. The danger is not that he’s ruining his body – though that is a possibility – the real danger is that he is going to interpret his physical deterioration with his attitude about his studies, his career, his job, his life, his marriage, and so on.

His physical deterioration was being interpreted/translated/transposed as a mental one. We often times feel bad (don’t kick the dog) and make the assumption that it’s related to our attitudes.

The Body Doesn’t Lie.

But often times interpreting what’s going on physically effects our reasoning capacity – We want to blame something so we can fix it. What to do? Understanding this nature within us: to attribute physical conditions with our personal attitudes, is often enough to take a step back and take care of the true matter at hand – our health. The Paradigm Scribe simply needs to get back on a healthy regimen, get his normal rest, eat his healthy best, take his meds (if that’s what he’s supposed to do), walk and get back to physical shape. If the other things are still overwhelming, then he should attack those problems the way one would eat an elephant – one bite at a time.

The Beauty of Space

Often times, what we think of as beauty, is the ethereal arrangement of space. When there is clutter, as the Paradigm Scribe is wrestling with, it is the lack of space which pushes into our psyche that crowds the mind and fills our thoughts with too many images. One of the most remarkable horror movies of all time is the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. In it is a scene where there is a great deal of space – not only the Texan blue sky, which in itself can be remarkable, but, set on a low horizon, is a broad (covers the bottom of the screen) golden brown hill. It is quiet and there is no soundtrack (more white space). From the left side of the screen (as I recall it – and I could be wrong, but the sentiment is right) are three teenagers pushing a vehicle from left to right. Nobody says nothing. No chainsaw has made an appearance yet. But the image is startling. There is simply too much time to think. You know this is a horror movie. You know they are (most likely) going to die. One is drawn into the scene despite themselves. Stunning.

It is clear skin that attracts, broad strokes that intrigue, clean air which refreshes. It’s not about being minimalist – though there is certainly value there – it’s more about being healthy. Perhaps it is the suggestion that these complex things known as bodies crave the opposite of what they are: simplicity.

The Space Between

One of the difficulties of space is that most people do much to get rid of it. A simple drive on the California freeways (okay, almost anywhere) is probably proof enough of this statement. There are those who are threatened by space and do all that they can to fill it up. A picture of my office/bedroom should suffice. I have books, nearly ten cases of them filled up – and I could use another. Granted, I only keep books I want, usually as references and some for pleasure. Some of this clutter is enforced: I must keep records for seven years for various aspects of our nation’s reference proof. There goes two filing cabinets. Most of them are kept out of fear that I’ll never see them again.

White space – the space between lines around margins and inside texts is an invaluable tool to the advertiser and marketer (of which I have some experience with). Consider the success of Google. I would argue (though I won’t here) that their success is largely based on their use of white space on their search engine.

White space is also what gives many comedians (the comic pause) and dramaticists (the dramatic pause) their strength. Andy Kaufman got this – and as a result, it made his career. When he, a simple phonograph, a 45 record graced the Tonight Show’s stage – there was nothing but space around him. That image alone was enough to bring a laugh. But space continued to rule the routine as he stood proud, played the record and posed as though he were going to lip-sync what was soon to be heard: the Mighty Mouse theme song. But Mighty Mouse, as it turns out, had only one line throughout the song that was used only a few times: Here I am to save the day! Kaufman’s contribution was white space brilliance. And very funny.

Groucho Marx (one of my personal heroes) likewise used white space by raising his eyebrows to great effect.

And, of course, The Beatles White Album did the same.

Why do these work so well (when not over done?). Because now the audience gets an opportunity to think. This is why film engages in a way that television cannot (the space between the frames). I’ve not taken the time to wonder at digital projection in the theatre but from what I’ve heard of IMAX digitization, I’d say it’s a minor fail. This is not to say that television doesn’t work, it just doesn’t engage; instead, television directs and impulses rather than activates and motivates.

Personal white space involves listening and receiving. It gives us more information to work with that goes beyond our experiences – we are able to synthesize more clearly and make better decisions regarding our relationships and environment. Personal white space – the space between – allows for a broader perspective.